Well it's official. Mr. Wrong has now given this promise to another woman. Do you think he really, really means it this time? And they did it on Christmas Day, not even a full month after the divorce is final, only 4 days after our anniversary. They are planning a ceremony on January 25th, you know for the kids. I would tell him that Grace and Lee have cried because they don't want to be Miss Peach's flower girls but he doesn't like me very much right now.
I cried a little, it hurts a little. But mainly I have this overwhelming sense of relief. A friend who has been in my shoes says it's because I know I am finally free of the cycle of abuse. Other than a few very close friends people around me don't know the suffering I endured for years.
She's right. I endured years of verbal and emotional battering. I can almost hear him now saying "nobody but me would ever love you" following that with all the ways he deemed me to be "worthless" as a wife. And I would work harder, do things different, it was never enough. A few months ago I was channel surfing and landed on Dr. Phil. A wife and he abusive husband were on and Dr. Phil looked at the woman and said "it will never be enough. It doesn't matter what you do, it will never be enough. You can never be good enough for him to stop. The problem is not you." And I cried because he could be talking to me. I know that now. Nothing I could have done would have been enough to make our family complete. It wasn't up to me. He has the problems.
Another friend says, it's easier to kid yourself into believing the abuse isn't real when their aren't any bruises on your skin. But I stayed. I consider myself an intelligent woman. But I stayed. Why? Seriously.
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1 comment:
I think it's human nature to resist change. While it may not have been pleasant, it was familiar.
Let someone else put up with it. You don't need to.
On another note, I just posted on a topic you might enjoy: politics! (Blatant attempt at self-advertisement.)
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