Aunt Francis

My Aunt Francis died Friday night. Actually she is my great-aunt, my grandfather’s sister. Her husband, my Uncle Hank, died a few years ago. Francis and Hank had a place across the lake from my grandfather, so when we would visit we usually got to see them too. Aunt Francis taught me to get water from a well with sheer hand power, she taught me to pop popcorn over an open fire (who knew you could fix it without a microwave?), oh and she introduced me to dipping apples in caramel. Aunt Francis survived the Depression and like most children of that era, it marked her life. She would collect the crayons discarded at the end of the school year, package them up and send them off to missionaries in a developing country.

In their last few years Aunt Francis and Uncle Hank had gotten weak and frail but I shall always remember them from my childhood. Uncle Hank paddling a canoe and Aunt Francis taking us on nature walks. One of the things I am sure of is their reunion must have been sweet, not with each other but with their Maker. When Aunt Francis got sick this last time it is rumored she told her daughter, “I hope this is the end.” She had tired of the trials of this life, she was lonely for Hank and she had lived a good life. She was ready to go home with the complete assurance of where she would be when next her eyes opened. She had felt the joy of living and looked forward to the joy in dying.

I probably won’t make it to her funeral, she lived halfway across the country. But to my cousins, I am so sorry for your loss. To my Aunt Francis, rest well, I will miss you, remember you fondly and rejoice that you are in a better place.

Karen has invited you to be a friend..

"I'm looking for someone whose baggage goes with mine."

Okay, I have done it, I have gone and joined facebook. Last summer my little brothers suggested I should, that it's a great social network. Well considering my social life consists of baseball practices and purse parties, what more can you ask for? (Yes, that is sarcasm.) Then a few days ago a friend from high school mentioned she had created a facebook page, so I decided to start my own. In the last 4 days 9 friends have accepted my invitation (some I'm not even sure how I invited :), honestly that makes me feel loved.

Here is my dilema. When it asked my romantic status, I didn't have it in me to mark single. I went with "it's complicated." It's so weird to think of myself as single, despite my post earlier to that effect. A friend has suggested I make a deal with myself to say yes to anyone who asked me out the first year. Sorry I have already broken that, causing one guy to say "you are just as big a tease now as you were in high school." Awww, really, you think so? Thank you.

The truth is I don't think I'm ready to date. Don't get me wrong, I am having a great time learning to flirt again. But to say, yes I will go out with you, even now it scares the crap out of me. I mean honestly, I haven't dated since college, over 13 years ago and back then I didn't kiss on the first date. Dating as a 30 year old single mother will be a whole other experience than as a carefree college girl. My divorce has been final now for 5 months and my marriage has been over for 2 years. It's time, I know.

So that's it, I'm going to go mark single right now.... Well, maybe tomorrow.... Or next week? I'm a busy girl but I'll get to it, seriously.

Take me out to the ballgame...

I love baseball. I am a fan of the game of baseball. I love the Red Sox. Now I am not the kind of fan that have the roster and every stat memorized. I cannot carry on a intelligent conversation about the heavy hitters in the MLB, although sometimes I fake it. But I love the game.

What I love even more is the game my son plays. This year he is in the Majors (11 & 12 year olds). This is his 5th year playing baseball, and when we started the games were hard to watch. Every kid had to bat, nobody kept score, etc. In AAA (9 & 10 year olds) the games were fun to watch, Chandler knew the game, the pitchers threw consistantly and they made outs. This year he has a coach he has had twice before and this coach is good for Chandler. Coach Kent rides Chandler, but encourages him too. He yells... productively. Some mothers cringe at their child having Coach Kent, I love him. Because in the end I know he yells because he cares, he wants Chandler to improve, and his coaching style works for Chandler's personality.

Oh yeah, this is the first year Grace and Lee are playing softball. Grace is in the Darlings league and Lee is in the Sweeties league. I don't have much to go on because they have each only had a couple of practices, so I'll let you know how it goes.

So if you are ever in town, stop by the ball fields. On any given night there will be at least half a dozen games going. And there is a pretty good chance I'll be at one of the fields. Play ball, seriously.

Turning a corner

Last night something happened, something that hadn’t happened in a very long time. I really felt single. And something else weird happened to. I found myself attracted to a man other than Mr. Wrong. Now this is monumental because I’ve been with Mr. Wrong for 12 years. I’m not trying to say in all those years I never found someone else attractive but I was never attracted to them.

Several weeks ago I went thru the Wendy's drive thru. I pulled up to the window to get my food and the manager handed it out to me and said “You look familiar, do I know you from somewhere?” Like an idiot I said, “I don’t think so, are you from (my hometown)?” He wasn’t but we talked a few more minutes and I pulled away. It didn’t occur to me until later that was a line, he was flirting with me. I am pretty out of practice and very flattered. Although a Wendy’s manager probably goes on my list of things I won’t settle for in a man.

In my quest to make sure I never settle for another Mr. Wrong I am working on a list of qualities my Mr. Right must possess. Any suggestions? Wow, I’m single again, seriously.

My angel turns 1

The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, peace of mind, or even your happiness. It’s far greater than your family, your career or even your ambitions. If you want to know why you were placed on this planted, you must begin with God. You were born BY His purpose and FOR His purpose. – Rick Warren

Happy Birthday to Caroline! Today is Baby Caroline’s 1st birthday. Have I ever mentioned what a great baby she is? She has been walking for about two weeks and I’m so proud of her. She doesn’t cry unless something is really wrong. Even when she was teething she didn’t complain that much. At church she is the official greeter, almost everyone who walks in the door calls her by name, and she rewards them with a big grin and giggle.

She is beautiful and almost always has a smile on her face. And she is mine, exclusively, as far as I’m concerned. Mr. Wrong is out of town this week, he sent me a message this morning, was it to wish his daughter a happy birthday? No. And that’s okay, she is loved by so many people.

A year ago today, my life was in such a different place, a day that should have been so beautiful was shadowed by Mr. Wrong’s behavior. The day after Caroline was born my dad came a sat with me for several hours, I’m not sure he intended to but he reminded me that even without Mr. Wrong I was gonna be fine, great in fact. And over the last year I have come to see that more and more.

There are times when I am angry at myself for bringing her into such a hard situation and then I remember it wasn’t me that brought her in. She was a gift, an angel given to me by the Creator. I found the above quote by Rick Warren shortly after she was born and it was a reminder to me that God is in control. He knew Caroline before I did, loved her before I did and intended her for me. So today I celebrate the gift of her life. Seriously.

My promise

I know I promised to tell you who I voted for but this is harder than I thought, so here it is... Mike Huckabee. And I did the thing I don't like, my intention was not to vote for Huckabee but against McCain. I wanted to send McCain a message, "please don't expect me to vote for you because you have an (R) beside your name."

TigBom asked if I still believed in our democratic system. I will remind him again, we don't live in a democracy but a republic. We elect our leaders and send them to Washington to "speak for us." And yes, I do still believe that of all forms of governing currectly practiced in the world, we have the best system. And yes, I do believe it is flawed. Have you ever read the Federalist papers? Yes TigBom I'm sure you have. Many of their concerns have come to fruition, we had intelligent founding fathers. Seriously.

Rino...

I didn't leave the Democrat Party, it left me. - Ronald Reagan

So I never thought I'd see the day I was disappointed to see Mitt Romney suspend his campaign. But on Thursday I was. John McCain has all but sown up the Republican nomination. Rush says not to give up hope, a lot can happen in 9 months. The problem is Virginia's primary is in 3 days and I have no one to vote for.

I can't not vote, I jumped all over TigBom for doing that. I have decided that I am free to write in whoever I want. I haven't decided who yet. If you have any suggestions I'm open to them.

The Democratic Nominee appears to be Obama. And he scares me. First up until a few years ago no one knew who he was. He's in the Senate on a fluke - kinda like Jim Webb, Obama didn't win the Republican lost. He has never run anything. He's never been in the executive branch. Never been a Mayor or Govenor.

Second, the few political stands he will take (you know other than change) are in direct conflict with my beliefs. The primary ads he's running in Virginia are really good, they leave you with this warm fuzzy feeling. You know what they leave out? What he stands for.

You see the thing about change for change's sake is that it isn't always for the better. I don't think taking profits from companies is a good thing, what incentive is there for sucess? I don't like one payer healthcare, it hasn't worked anywhere else. Why do you think Fidel Castro went to Spain for his care? I haven't heard where he stands on judicial nominees but I'm willing to take a guess they wouldn't be ones I like. The little I've heard we don't agree on moral issues either.

I have always hated the idea of ovting for the lesser of two evils. I will not cede my right to vote. And I have no intention of voting for John McCain simply because he has an R beside his name. So where does that leave me? Who do I vote for? When I figure it out, I'll let you know. Seriously.